How to Win at Work (and Life)

Not too long ago I came across a tweet from a billionaire internet entrepreneur. Here’s what he said:

“If a founder brags about having ‘a balanced life,’ I assume they’re not serious about winning.”

I’ve met tons of people over the years who felt similar, namely, that to truly become great at what you do you have to obsess over it, to make it the most important thing in your life.

The problem with this thinking is it looks at life through the lens of work.

Don’t get me wrong, work is important—especially if you’re blessed to have a job you enjoy, or even to build something that helps others.

But I’m going to let you into a secret. As a mentor of mine put it:

A balanced life is the winning.

What real winning looks like

Ever heard of Marc Randolph? Maybe not, but he’s a serial entrepreneur who co-founded seven companies, including one you might have heard of:

Netflix.

Marc served as Netflix’s first CEO, and his current mission is to share the lessons he’s learned in his 40 years as a business builder.

One of those lessons has to do with his Tuesday nights.

Marc says Tuesdays were “date nights” with his wife, a practice he’s stuck with for more than 30 years. Rain or shine, Marc would have a hard 5 p.m. cutoff at work so he could spend the evening with his best friend—going to a movie, having dinner, or just going window shopping downtown.

Marc says those Tuesday nights not only kept him sane, they put the rest of his work in perspective.

“I’ve worked hard, for my entire career, to keep my life balanced with my job,” Marc said.

“In fact, the thing I’m most proud of in my life is not the companies I started, it’s the fact that I was able to start them while staying married to the same woman, having my kids grow up knowing me and (best as I can tell) liking me, and being able to spend time pursuing the other passions in my life.”

“That’s my definition of success.”

Marc’s not alone.

Over time, I’ve learned that pursuing quality relationships is the most important goal you can strive for.

Interestingly, it’s also what one of the longest and most comprehensive studies in emotional well-being in history teaches us. Namely, the key to true happiness is quality relationships with others.

So, if you’re serious about winning at life, ignore any advice that discourages you to find balance. In contrast, the most emotionally intelligent people encourage balance.

They work hard at their jobs. But they work harder to maintain the relationships with their family and friends—and they’re rewarded for the time and energy they invest.

And that is what true winning looks like.