How to Use Writing to Build Your Emotional Intelligence
3 simple tips to use writing to improve your EQ.
Hey ,
Last week I wrote about the value of writing by hand, and how it can help you develop emotional intelligence.
As a refresher, we talked about research that shows writing by hand results in greater brain connectivity and promotes learning.
In other words, the process of writing by hand not only allows you to clarify thoughts, it helps you to “internalize” them—even if you never refer back to what you’ve written.
You may not even remember what you wrote down, but the process makes it a part of you (even subconsciously) and increases the chance you’ll use that info again.
But if you’re not in the habit of writing, how do you develop that habit?
And how do you actually get better at it?
Here are three tips that can help.
1. Keep a journal.
Of all the things you can do to build emotional intelligence, journaling is probably the single most impactful.
Journaling can help you:
• Clarify your thinking
• Connect the dots
• Get to know yourself
• Gain control over your emotions
• Express yourself in a healthy way
• Manage anxiety
• Reduce stress
• Improve your mood and your mental health
Yes, a journal can be a place to share your innermost thoughts and feelings—and that’s a great way to build self-awareness.
But if you tell me “I’m not one of those people,” remember this:
A journal can also be a place to keep random thoughts—anything from from stream of consciousness, to new learnings, to that great idea you got in the shower.
So, use your journal however you want. The key is to make it easy (use a dedicated notebook and pen that’s feels good to use).
And although you can journal at any time, it may be helpful to set aside a few minutes to practice at the same time every day (or at whatever cadence works for you).
2. Write to people you love.
I didn’t always write professionally. For years, my writing consisted primarily of thank you notes, cards to friends, emails and letters to my dream girl, who eventually became my wife (writing is how I actually won her over—but that’s a story for another day).
There are many advantages to writing friends and family:
You write with an audience in mind, which helps you build empathy.
You use an honest, “keep it real” writing style—which helps you get to know yourself and build rapport with others.
Most important, you share something of great value with loved ones. Think of how you felt the last time someone you cared about took time to write a heartfelt message to you.
You can even use this as an opportunity to save relationships that need mending, or just to get an extra smile out of someone.
3. Write appreciation notes at work.
When Doug Conant took over as CEO at Campbell’s, he transformed the company culture from toxic to award-winning.
A big part of his strategy: Writing thank you notes.
“Most cultures don’t do a good job of celebrating contributions,” Conant said. “So I developed the practice of writing notes to our employees.
“Over 10 years, it amounted to more than 30,000 notes, and we had only 20,000 employees. Wherever I’d go in the world, in employee cubicles you’d find my handwritten notes posted on their bulletin boards.”
Today, almost all written communication is electronic. When you write short, sincere, specific notes of appreciation—at work or at home—you practice relationship management, a key element of emotional intelligence.
In doing so, you develop a habit that helps you, helps others, and makes your workplace or home better.
There you go. Three quick ways to get more practice writing, in a way that will help you develop and use your EQ.
The key is just to get started. Because the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll make writing a habit in your life…
And the sooner you’ll use the Rule of Writing
https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/neuroscience-says-1-simple-habit-boosts-brain-connectivity-learning-memory.html
to make emotions work for you, instead of against you.
Talk soon,
Justin