Why You Should Never Compare Yourself to Others (and What to Do Instead)

It has nothing to do with your success.

Hey ,

I have something exciting I want to share with you, but I’ll save it for the PS.

First, I want to tell you about what happened yesterday.

Ben, a mentor of mine, was feeling down. He runs a very successful business, and he’s been working on a project for the past few months. The problem, at least, in Ben’s eyes, was a competitor just released a similar product—and it seemed to be everywhere Ben looked.

“What am I doing?” Ben asked. “Should I even be working on this? This other product looks great. How will mine compete?”

Ben’s feelings are common, and they aren’t limited to business.

It’s super easy to get caught up in comparisons: to colleagues, competitors, friends, family members. We’re tempted to compare everything: our achievements, our job titles, our cars, our homes, our family life, and more.

But I’m here to tell you: Whatever you do, please…

DON’T COMPARE
When you focus on the accomplishments of others, you’re bound to create unfavorable comparisons. This is discouraging, and fosters negative feelings. As the old saying goes:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Remember that no matter how good things are going for you, there will always be someone who “appears” to be doing better, in one way or another.

I say “appears” because while you may believe that person’s doing better than you, you might not feel the same if you knew their whole situation.

After all, appearances are often not what they seem.

And even if they are, they’re often accompanied by challenges and difficulties you don’t see.

But the #1 reason you shouldn’t compare yourself with others is because others’ achievements have nothing to do with your success, or your happiness.

So, if you don’t compare, what should you do instead?

Two things:

1. Define what success means to you.
What are your goals and priorities? Define them. Clarify them. Remind yourself of them—often. (The Rule of Recentering

https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/emotional-intelligence-what-is-recentering-how-to-know-what-i-want-out-of-life.html
can help with this.)

2. Strive to be the best version of yourself.
Remember that you have unique strengths. Experiences. Insights. Style.

All of this separates you from everyone else, and is the key to achieving what you want. It’s one reason why your voice matters, and why some will be drawn to you over others.

So, the next time you’re tempted to look at yourself next to others, remember:

Don’t compare.

Instead, define what success means to you. Then, focus on being the best version of yourself.

Because that’s a much better formula for success.

Talk soon,
Justin