How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (With 3 Simple Words)

Are you a perfectionist?

I am. It’s served us well through the years, hasn’t it? When you were still in school, it got you to stay up late revising and making things better. You made sure what you turned in was top-notch.

It got you the “A.”

This is because schools grade you on “the finished product.”

But there’s only one problem…

In life, none of us are finished products.

That’s why perfectionism hurts you.

For example, see if any of the following fit you:

  • You chronically procrastinate or turn things in late—because you want them to be “just right.”
  • You hold people to unreasonable standards
  • You micromanage

So…how do you achieve balance?

How do you keep the good part of your perfectionism (the high standards) without letting the bad part (unreasonableness) take over?

To stop being a perfectionist, you have to remind yourself of three simple words:

Everyone is a “work in progress.”

When you adopt a “work in progress” mindset, you balance the good part of perfectionism (setting high standards) without letting the bad part (unreasonableness) take over.

You’re able to take criticism.

You know whatever you turn in is a “draft,” or “version” of your work.

Drafts aren’t expected to be the best version. So criticism isn’t an attack, it’s a way to make your draft better.

You see mistakes as opportunities.

There are two ways to view mistakes:

Failures or opportunities.

Everyone makes mistakes. The problem with viewing mistakes as failures is that you judge yourself—and others—by a standard that’s impossible to reach.

In contrast, as a work-in-progress, you continue to learn and grow. Now, mistakes are opportunities to collect data and improve.

You go from judge to teammate.

People hate being judged. But everyone loves a good teammate.

As a good teammate, you don’t focus on what others can do better. Rather, your focus is on what you can do to make others better.

So, if you struggle with being a perfectionist, remember:

You haven’t reached your full potential. There’s always room to grow.

Leverage your strength, and mitigate your weakness.

Keep your high standards, but don’t be afraid to make mistakes (or to allow others to make mistakes).

Because, after all…

We’re all works in progress.

*******

Want to learn more about how to increase your emotional intelligence?

Sign up for our free email course: Free Emotional Intelligence Course From EQ Applied

Related articles

Get a quick glance of what our readers like the most
A woman waits for it: She visualizes what she wants to do as she builds motivation to do it.

Wait For It: How to Motivate Yourself

A woman learns how to use her strength of confidence without it becoming a weakness

How to Use Your Strength: The Rule of Strength and Weakness

Abstract image of two women thinking different things, showing that perception is reality

Perception Is Reality: How to See From Other Perspectives

Two persons playing chess, illustrating how the rule of the chess player teaches you how to show empathy

The Rule of the Chess Player: How to Show Empathy

Two people building a bridge, symbolizing bridging the perspective gap

The Perspective Gap: Why Showing Empathy Is Hard

abstract clock frozen in time

Don’t Freeze Them in Time: How to Change Your View of Others

Blue dolphin

How to Control Negative Thoughts: Use the “Blue Dolphin Rule”

Build Your Emotional Vocabulary: Emotion Words List

Why You Over Explain—and How to Stop (Using Just 6 Words)

What Is FOFO? Beware of The Fear of Finding Out (And Learn How to Fight It)

Raise your EQ.
One week at a time.

Join a community of tens of thousands building their emotional intelligence with EQ Applied.

Join the weekly newsletter
You really make the concepts very easy to understand.
Kerttu
Amazing.
Juhan
You’ve helped me in so many ways.
Aksel
Really practical advice delivered in a simple form.
Kris
I feel like I just had a psychologist appointment. Thank you!
Patti
This is exactly what I needed at this point in my life.
Jason
Your EQ Rules of life have helped in more ways than I expected.
Mitch
The language you chose to explain EQ was simple and clear, which made it understandable.
Jenna
As a social worker I really found this to be helpful.
Jane
I have adult ADHD, so these tips are amazing for people like me, for time management.
Camille
I especially appreciate your heart centered approach.
Arlene
I enjoy every lesson.
Marion
Really helpful advice & lovely writing style, not to mention perfect timing.
Girvan
Brilliant.
Kathryn
I truly look forward to each email.
Jeff
The simplicity and reality of the rules fit in with any stage of life.
Susan
Loving your course. Wish I did this 30 years ago.
Bruce
Your emails are on my "open first" list. Excellent advice and insights.
CJ
So inspiring, encouraging, and educational.
Dare
I think this lesson has definitely made me a better person today.
Audrey
Powerful.
Craig
Truly life-changing!
Robert
Your emails are the basis for conversations I have with my son and nephew.
Gerald
Thanks for being real, legit, and genuine. Rare qualities.
Frank
I absolutely love this.
Scarlett
Sometimes you are better than my therapist.
Jennifer